


shadows don't fuck around, huh

by lapinprince



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Gen, Goro is suddenly a baby, Implied Akeshu BUT not while he's a baby that's weird, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, i have no idea what else to tag this as
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21832138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapinprince/pseuds/lapinprince
Summary: After a mishap in Mementos, the Phantom Thieves' very own Akechi Goro is now 2 years old at most. At least they can put "Babysitter Extraordinaire" on their resume?
Kudos: 49





	shadows don't fuck around, huh

**Author's Note:**

> this is a "starts with c, rhymes with emission" for clover! i promised more than just this but took forever just to finish the first chapter... so this is on the backburner, but it was cute so i wanted to at least post it. the next chapters would be each of the other thieves' days with baby goro! if you have any ideas or requests feel free to comment!!
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/laprincenico)
> 
> -♔

It all happened extremely fast. One moment, Goro was flourishing his sword with over extended confidence, probably ready to prove himself once more to the rest of them that he was worthy of endless praise. The next, a pathetic flutter of a red cape as the dust settled, all of that regal attire folding to the ground, smothering a tiny head of brown hair struggling to poke through to the outside world. Ren was unfortunately floored by this development, and he ran to his teammate immediately, leaving the other two to fend off this new Shadow by themselves. He knelt down and helped the wriggling little one pop his head through the neck hole of his shirt. 

“Oh my god.” Ren’s eyes widened. 

“D-did he become a little kid?!” Ryuji looked absolutely bewildered. There was no mistaking it. Little Goro tugged shyly at his bangs, glancing around with worry. 

“He’s so cute,” Ren whispered to himself in awe. With Ryuji also preoccupied, it was only Ann left in the valiant effort against the Shadow. A stray slash of its polearm was enough to get past her, despite all her work to keep it back.

“Joker! Watch out!” Ren snapped back into it at her warning, but with his brain clouded with thoughts of adorable children, all he could think about was to protect the one sitting in front of him. Without any hesitation, Ren scooped Goro into his arms and shielded him from the hit, sustaining a nick of a wound in the process. He swore under his breath but crawled off once he heard Ryuji and Ann refocus and take down the Shadow for good.

“Are you okay…?” Ren searched Goro’s plump face for any pain or hurt. Though he was relieved to find him uninjured, Goro’s bright brown eyes were brimming with tears.

“Y-you saved me, mister…!” Goro reached up and wiped at his eyes– which looked very cute with his sleeves so oversized– and then placed his wet little hands on Ren’s cheeks. “Did you get hurt? Don’t lie, okay…?” 

Ren’s heart could have exploded and restarted anew and still wouldn’t be able to process this. This led to Goro papping his hand against his face to get his attention. “Mister? Are you okay? Why are you wearing that mask?” Ren said nothing but scooped up the boy into his arms, making sure his clothes were tucked under and not flopping around. The boy giggled and clung to Ren’s neck.

“We’re gonna have to retreat so we can figure out what’s going on, it’s too dangerous to go on with one of us as a child,” he announced. It was a rather unanimous decision, and the team ran out of the Palace as efficiently as possible as to not run into another Shadow that could maybe render a bigger fraction of their team to be toddlers. 

________

“So… what do we do about this?” Makoto sighed and glanced to the sleeping Goro, curled up in Ren’s pajamas and sleeping soundly on the bed, Morgana strategically placed for further warmth and snuggling.

“He stayed this way even after we left the Palace. Should we have waited out the effects inside, perhaps?” Yusuke frowned.

“It did take a while for us to get out, and Ryuji and Ann were able to take down the Shadow in the end,” Futaba pointed out, crossing her arms as she tried to think. “It might be more of a long term effect thing. And uh… if not, there goes our opposition?”

“Shit, yer right!” Ryuji’s grin was cut short by the chorus of shushes at him to make sure he didn’t wake up the child. “I mean, that’s true. Like, even if it did go that way it’s still good fer us!” 

“Ren? Any thoughts?” Haru asked, watching their leader with a bit of worry.

“I’ve always wanted kids,” Ren said dreamily, gently stroking toddler Goro’s hair as he slept.

“Ren, please be serious.”

“I am being serious.”

After their leader’s brave confession (?), nobody said a thing for quite an uncomfortable bout of time. 

“We should probably figure out how to watch over him until he changes back,” Ann suggested, looking the slightest bit annoyed at Ren’s outlook on the situation, “I guess we could all take turns being sick for class to watch him?” Half the group seemed ecstatic at the thought of skipping class, while the other half looked mortified.

“What about Futaba? She doesn’t go to school,” Yusuke gestured to the girl, who already seemed just a bit too into the idea of taking care of a toddler.

“No offense, Futaba, but you can barely take care of yourself… I don’t think you can take care of a child for that long,” Ann frowned, though Futaba seemed completely unaffected by the honest truth.

“Nah, probably not! But he’d be a great dummy opponent playing Mario Kart,” she cackled, as if her head was full of similar scenarios. 

“Though I think that’s the most reliable plan. We don’t know any adults who would take care of a toddler without asking any questions.” Makoto seemed rather hesitant, as if they were planning too far ahead with this, but if the effect stayed past leaving the Palace, who knows how long it’d stay for?

Everyone seemed to agree that it was the right way though, and they divided up the next week between them with those like Futaba and Ryuji near the end and the responsible ones like Makoto and Haru at the beginning. 

“Should he stay with whoever has him for the day…?” Ann asked, unsure how she could explain it to her parents. 

“No.”

Makoto tried to review her sister’s schedule in her head. “That’d be the most even share of labour, I believe. If we could get around others being involved, at least.” 

“No.”

“He could stay at my place on days he can’t stay at whoever’s taking care of him,” Haru offered. With how lonely such a big mansion would be, it seemed to be a fair option.

“No! I wanna stay with Wen!” In a fit, Goro stood up from the bed, immediately got twisted up in the large pant legs of his pajamas and flopped over into Ren’s waiting arms. There, he crossed his arms and pouted, his eyes still shiny from before’s tears.

“I can’t afford to miss school anyway, so instead of taking him during a day he could stay here during the evenings,” Ren slid Goro into his lap, where the boy cooed and made happy bubbling noises. 

“Are you okay with that, Goro? I’m sorry we can’t find your mommy and daddy to take care of you.” Ann petted his hair, worried. 

“I don’t have a daddy,” Goro said. Ryuji immediately started to make frantic cutting motions across the neck before the toddler had to face probable years of trauma at the tender age of two. 

“That’s okay, Ren can be your daddy.” Yusuke always made things worse somehow, and this was no exception.

“No, Wen is my hero!” Goro declared, pointing at Yusuke. “He saved me! I’m gonna marry him someday when I’m a grownup too!” 

“I’m gonna go, this is getting weird,” Futaba slid off her perch on the table and slipped her coat back on.   
The rest of the team followed suit, filing out of Ren’s bedroom after some soft goodbyes and cooing to Goro, who stayed stubbornly in Ren’s lap. 

“Nyan,” Goro said, holding a small hand out and waving to the empty room. “Nyaaan,” he repeated, furrowing his brow. Morgana poked his head up from the railing at the stairs, where he had perched to watch everyone go.

“Do you want Mona again?” Ren asked. Goro nodded and held both hands up towards Morgana, making little grabby motions. He was growing very obviously sleepy, though, as his small form wavered back and forth as he squeezed his hands into fists with a near hypnotic rhythm. Morgana padded over to the bed and sat next to Ren, kindly offering his head so Goro could pat him between the ears.

“Mnn… Monamona soft,” Goro cooed, his head drooping back to rest against Ren’s chest.

“I think it’s bedtime for you, Goro,” Ren said, gently lifting Goro off his lap and resting him on the bed so he could tuck him in. He gave surprisingly little resistance as he lay him underneath the covers, too sleepy to protest. Morgana tucked himself under the covers too, serving as a wonderful thing to hold while Goro slept.

“Goodnight, Goro,” Ren said softly, turning off the light. 

“Goodnight, Wen,” Goro replied in a small voice, holding his face into Morgana’s soft fur. Ren couldn’t help but smile at the image. He pulled out an old blanket and got himself comfy on the couch, nodding off to sleep soon after.

When he woke up in the morning, Goro was laying on his chest, clutching his shirt, drool dribbling down his chin. Morgana lay splayed out on the bed by himself, entirely too large for a medium sized not-cat. Ren should have expected this, all things considered. He closed his eyes again, thinking he could owe himself a little more sleep before he had to go to school, Goro’s soft snoring more than enough to lull him back to sleep.


End file.
